Unfortunately to build an ideal relationship is much more difficult that it can look like. It’s not the honeymoon period but also great powers that a person spends to get and to keep his happiness. So we decided to make a list of things that you should avoid if you want to save your love.
They say real love never dies and stand all tests. It’s true but many people take infatuation for love and don’t understand that they should come to real love. And in the beginning love is very fragile and it’s easy to destroy it. Of course everybody treats this feeling very differently, but everybody wants to feel it once at least. Love can make a person stronger and it can murder all his dreams. And one can’t give an exact definition of love, some say it’s just a chemical reaction in your body and some consider it to be just psychic deviation. We can’t say where it comes from but if this beautiful feeling dwells in your heart, here are some recommendations for you that can help to make your relations strong and happy.
You can’t change anybody
Remember the day when you realized that you fell in love. This feeling was making you stronger and was giving you more self-confidence in any situation, but a year passed and you had time to learn each other. And you understood that he is not so ideal and he started telling you that you had changed and became another person. Now every conversation leads to mutual criticism and if earlier every his phrase made you smile now it only makes you irritated. So what is it: love that you should struggle for or just an illusion in which you believed?
If you understand that you want to continue these relations and they are important for you, you should understand that disappointment is inevitable. Our feelings and emotions are always being transformed and nobody is ideal. You both have disadvantages and the question is not if you can change them the question is can you accept them? A great psychologist and founder of gestalt-therapy Fritz Perls said once:
“I live in this world not for meeting your demands, and you live in this world not meeting mine. You are you, and me is me. If we meet each other by chance and we feel good together it’s great. And if not – nobody is guilty.”
It’s up to you to choose: should you keep living in illusions or should you get real love and accept your partner as he is.
Keep your problems in-house
Even if you have problems, no need to solve them in public. Arguments are an intimate thing like sex and they should be between you and him. You don’t have sex in public keep this logic in this case too.
Don’t try to hide your emotions from anybody and from yourself
When there is a difficult period in your relations no need to collect hurts and hide them in your heart. It can devour you within. When you are full of hurts you won’t be able to continue relations. So it’s better to be frank and to speak about things that worry you, solve problems together with your partner and compromise can be found in any situation.
Mistrust
Today he said that he’s gonna meet his friends after work and spend some times with them. Suspicion appears in your mind and start making up some bad scenarios in your mind, trying to guess who is the girl with whom he wants to spend this evening. You are nervous and full of anger. And then you take a taxi and ride to him and see that he is there with his friends. And his face is full surprise and confusion.
Your inner detective fades away and you feel uneasy. The most important foundation of any relations is trust. Don’t try to incriminate your partner in anything, such approach will lead to negativity and don’t waste your nerves.
Female brain always looks for some catch in any situation, but try not to do it and the most important thing: just believe him. The things we are afraid of are more likely to happen to us.
Forget about you ex-partners
The most widespread and fatal mistake which can destroy relations! Don’t analyse your past relations being in present ones and don’t compare them of course. So it’s better to forget your past partners when you have one and never discuss this subject with your loved one because it can hurt and create a lack of trust.
Concentration on negative things
In all relations there are negative situations, first you get hurt than you sort things out and than long-awaited peace comes. But there are those who remember old hurts years after and bring these memories undermining everything good. No need to accent on bad things because it’s us on whom depends the prism we look on the world and our relations through.
Too much control
He just fell asleep and you take his phone and start looking through his messages, trying to create a logical picture, and suddenly you see that he talks with some girls. You can’t sleep and in the morning you ask thousands questions but you can’t tell him that you spent the whole night looking through his phone,
Prison regime was never good for relations and each partner must have his personal space and right to take decisions. So don’t make a soy story of your relations and get rid of all prejudices and live by your love without creating problems by yourself.
Irresponsibility
“We are responsible for those whom we tamed” and it’s all said. Don’t neglect your words and promises, because you and your partner make a foundation for your future by creating trust and making it stronger. You become one and take obligation to share everything so sometimes you’ll have to be an altruist. This is the sense of support and responsibility for yur loved one.
Lies
You can create a crack by lies which won’t be glued and it can influence further relations. Many ones run away in such case and some people give a second chance. But despite the end of situation lies from your close one hurt really much and a broken heart needs a long recovery. Try to build your relations on truth and you will reap what you sow.
Parents
This problem is not widespread but if it exists in your relations it’s area l disaster. Parents help us in childhood but there are situations when simple care becomes control and it prevents a child from normal life. In such cases you should create a distance and let your parents know less about your life. Try not to depend on others opinions, in many cases parents can be right but your relationship is an exclusion.
